Thursday, 24 December 2015

'Fan'ny magnet

               The following are fictitious accounts of real people afflicted with an extreme form of the emotionally fatal psychological condition 'basking in reflected glory'.

               The glass exteriors of the house,whose inhabitants had never attempted to throw stones at anyone(for those who didn't get the reference),had seen better days. The youngster, for the first time, took pride in his own achievement, and not Yuvraj Singh's. The stone he had pelted, had done the damage. "Nothing can stop my hero. Not even cancer.", he had once babbled. His 'hero' had failed him.
               "Who are you?", I asked the young man. "Fan", he said.

               "Devuda devuda" went the alarm. He sprang out of bed. It was 3 a.m. Disregarding the unusual time of the day, he dressed up and left the house, carrying a bucket of milk. Reaching the temple, he found he wasn't alone. Everything was in place for the consecration. The chime of the temple bell was barely audible amidst the din caused by men cheering and hailing. Outside the theatre that stood a few blocks away from the temple, their 'thalaivar's' cut-out was being consecrated.
                Watching helplessly as litres of milk trickled down the inanimate piece of cardboard, I asked them, "Who are you?". "Fans", they said.

               Thanking the college management mentally for the free Wi-Fi connectivity, she went through updates of the week's Wimbledon matches. What she read made her mutter obscenities. "How can someone not know the god of cricket?", she cried, proceeding to 'share' an article that criticized idolatry. 
               "Who are you to Tendulkar?", I asked. "Fan", she said.

               She refused to cook. How could she? The mixer bore the woman's photo. Her husband felt as if his scalp was on fire, thanks to the tonsure, a symbol of having prayed for the woman's release. But he didn't turn the fan on. How could he? It bore the woman's photo. 
               "Who are you? Fan?", I asked. "From the days of Raaman thaediya Seethai", he beamed.

(For the uninitiated, the above are based on the following:
1. When Sri Lanka beat India in the ICC World Cup T20 final 2014, some people pelted stones at Yuvraj Singh's house.
2. Consecration of life-size cut-outs of celebrities(mostly actors) is not an uncommon sight(on the day of release of their movies).
3. As for the Sachin-Sharapova episode, you could watch this annoying video.
4. When the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu, Ms.Jayalalithaa was arrested under a disproportionate assets case, the state mourned, even off-television.)

P.S: The title, which is a cheat code from GTA Vice City, here, signifies the paparazzi that surrounds celebrities(in case you haven't figured out already).


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