Saturday, 21 May 2016

Super marry-o

Routines like Candy Crush while the rituals are on (or Snake if you are quaint) haven't been included in what can be called a list of games played in Indian weddings.

Pehchaan kaun:
               Hosted by (some) older men and women, this game has been played to boredom in Indian weddings. It starts with the much - dreaded  'Do you recognize me' and sure doesn't end well. A 'no' will most certainly end in awkward drama. A 'yes' isn't rewarding either; who wants slobbery kiss?

Buck hunt:
               Different versions of this game are popular amongst young and old 'doe's.
               (Some) old 'doe's participate in an indulgent exercise of scanning the crowd for bucks of marriageable age and marriageable bank balance and marriageable monthly earnings and marriageable character, for their offsprings.
               (Some) younger 'doe's display mating behaviour: giggling, smiling coyly and stealing glances at bucks clad in traditional attire. Just kidding. (Some) young 'doe's walk up to seemingly attractive bucks and ask for their social media contact details, laying the foundation of a happily ever after (kidding again) or a big bash from older 'doe's or bucks.

(The male equivalent of buck hunt hasn't been covered owing to author's inability to think of an existing game, the name of which is/ rhymes with a synonym of 'doe' hunt. Readers' suggestions welcome.)

Diner dash:
               Restlessness among the seated crowd followed by urgent renunciation of comfortable seats by small masses signals the start of the game. The objective (quite obviously) is to reach the dining area before the rest of the gathering does. The cost: expletives hurled during the mini stampede. The benefit: meal that satisfies the self more than the tummy.

Chinese (?!) whispers:
               An all-time favourite, this game is characterized by close huddles, numerous ridiculous hypotheses/ guesses surrounding a long - forgotten incident, occasional giggles and intermittent expressions of wonder, shock and disgust. I hear from champs that the game rewards players with a strange sense of content.

               This game is a detailed analysis of the entire ceremony including (but not limited to) the jewellery and clothing of the parents of the bride and groom, the quality of toothpicks distributed post dinner, the absentees, the showy attendees, the day picked for the wedding being a week day, estimates of expenses incurred and the warmth (or the lack of it) of the hosts.

Oh, and, good old musical chair.

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